Why We Still Need to Talk About Sarah Everard

    

March 8th marked International Women’s Day, the global holiday said to celebrate all the achievements of women across the world, either culturally, politically, or socioeconomically. And yet, the beginning of this month in 2021 not only saw the national belittlement of a woman revealing her fears to the world after years of abuse from the media, but also saw the disappearance of another young girl who did everything in her power to stay safe walking home, and it still wasn’t enough.

 

Sarah Everard could have been any woman anywhere. From walking home in a well-lit area to calling her boyfriend in an attempt to make herself feel safer, she made use of safety techniques we, as women, had all utilized. Had used during at least one walk alone in an attempt to feel some sort of safety. Some assurance. Too many times have I heard stories from my colleagues, friends, sister, about how they need to get picked up after a shift. A party. A pub trip late at night. About how they can’t walk home in the dark. Are scared in the case that they are followed. It’s a common story now, the idea that women should never walk home alone. That if they do, they will have to always look back. And yet, Sarah’s story highlights how any of these attempts are useless in the face of male violence. That if sensible shoes and a bright outfit cannot protect us, then what truly can? It has become evidently clear that even walking alone in familiar streets on a Wednesday night never provides certainty that we will make it home, whether that be in one piece, or in Sarah’s case, at all. That the blame does lie in the lap of the attacker rather than with the victim’s clothing, reckless choice of way home, or even any brief look they share with any would-be perpetrator that can somehow justify the actions that come next.

 

Yet, now nearly three weeks on, Sarah’s story is at least getting the conclusion it deserves, with her attacker on trial and jailed for his unjustified actions of violence, despite the fact it should never have ended this way at all. But, if it wasn’t for the uproar of media attention and the calls for change from women up and down the country, would we still have the same story? The same conclusion? Or would Sarah just be another of the 97% of us that have been sexually harassed and lack the justice we deserve. Of the women whose lives too were cut-short and any justice has now fallen through the cracks without the provided pressure of media attention. The abuse of women and the struggles they face by it daily has become so horrifically normalized that so many of us have a story like this that perhaps is what has made Sarah’s story cut so close to home. We are so used to prioritizing personal safety that it has become ingrained into our everyday lives. A universal understanding among women everywhere. An everyday ill-feeling that often just has to be incorporated into schedules and got on with. It isn’t right. After decades of the same issue, the same story being almost unanimously understood by millions of women around the world, shouldn’t we be tired of not doing anything about it?

 

Yet, this is also proof that we are not afraid for no reason. That although it is “not all men”, it is nearly all women. And despite this, despite our pleas for aid on a subject that men do not understand, it is clear that they do not want to understand. It is time for men to realize that it is their problem, and to start taking responsibility for the issues that, ultimately, they majorly provoke. Because, yes, it is not all men. But, it is 97% of women. And when the only response to women speaking up for themselves is violence, dismissal, and the recounting of men’s own sufferings, completely unrelated to the concept of male harassment and abuse women are trying to make known, it is clearly beyond time we started accusing the perpetrator instead of the instantaneous victim-blaming that is always resorted to. After all this time shouldn’t our governments, teaching institutions, and social media sites, be doing more to teach that the violence of stalking and harassment is abhorrently wrong? To stop focusing on women’s choices and start focusing on the male violence that continues to go unchecked. To stop future generations from facing the same struggle women do every-day? To stop little girls internalizing that looking back when walking home is just a natural part of what it means to be female?

 

In a male-dominated world, it is unsurprising that little action has been taken on the subject. With such little amounts of men feeling the impact of stalking and harassment in their everyday lives, women are left to suck it up and “protect themselves” instead against the big bad wolves that could trail them home. But it is not enough. As a result, stalking has become such a regular occurrence that the topic now appears to go unnoticed or is only dealt with when it is too late. And, as always, at the cost of the victim; through death, or worse. Women should be able to live and exist without fearing for their safety. Without having to plan every aspect of their lives around the potential harm we could face at the hands of others. In the end, men do this because they know the majority will get away with their actions. Because they can. Until this changes, until men are held fully responsible and realise that responsibility, nothing will change. Men need to care. Need to create awareness of this problem and create consequences for those that think there are none. We could all have been Sarah, and it is time for that to stop.

 

C x

 

 

 

 

Apps that can help:

 

Hollie Guard : If you feel unsafe whilst alone, you can shake it and it will send a notification to your set contacts.

 

Driver Check : Will check any Taxi registrations to make sure it is legit. 

 

WYA x Hands Off : A future app aimed to help anyone locate friends inside nightclubs without internet access needed.

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Travelling During a Pandemic

What it's really like

 With COVID-19 apparently moving in next door and the whole world fluctuating in and out of lockdown, the last thing I ever expected over the course of summer 2020 was to get one holiday, never mind two. It is something I had accepted the inevitable death of after the cancelling of my original trip to Greece in June, and the continuous slow reopening of Scotland over July, that left me looking to other options; such as the Scottish North Coast 500 instead. However, apparently I spoke too soon, as by the end of July the whole world appeared to be moving again, with my Instagram feed slowly becoming less mirror selfies and more pool pictures. It was refreshing seeing people being able to enjoy life again, whether that be at home or abroad, and was something I soon became rather envious of and began to consider for myself. With my work postponing their reopening another month, I had loads of free time that I didn't want to waste cooped up like the last four months, and soon I set my sights on some sort of low-risk city break somewhere I had never been before.

 

   Looking back now, August was perhaps the most normal month of this year. That is if you can actually call 2020 “normal”. With being back in lockdown now, it is hard to imagine a time when we were allowed inside each-others houses, to go out for food and drinks, and to even travel abroad, without it being actually illegal or considered reckless. Never mind a time within the confines of this pandemic. It is surreal and unimaginable and, frankly, August this year feels more like a daydream that I can’t wait to get back to, than a reality that was once possible.

 

   It all started when my sister, dejected by the disruption of her final year of school and the cancellation of her trip with her friends, hit a wall in regard to everything this pandemic had took from her. She wanted a holiday. Wanted away from the anxiety of the news and the depressing monotone that it provided. And considering it, I realised I wanted it too. However, with pandemic rules changing every day, we realised we had to act fast. So, at the end of July we booked a hotel and flights to Prague in the Czech Republic for just over a week away. 

 

   Yet, although I say the decision was last minute, it did take a tiny wee… bit of planning. With the government appearing to take more and more countries off their “Travel Corridor” every hour, we didn’t want to isolate if we could avoid it, but we also wanted to be safe in our choices of travel. In the end, we didn’t want to catch the virus we had just spent months isolating to avoid. This left little choice in where we could go and what we could do. Italy immediately was off the cards due to its previous high infection rate, and Iceland? Spain? Too cold and too risky. But, Prague? Perfect.

 

   I find that perhaps the reason August felt so normal is that it was so normal. Following on from the rush of lockdown from March to July, the world at once hit a standstill and yet kept moving forward in a wave of chaos that only the unchartered ground of a Pandemic could provide. We were at once stuck in the monotone of not being able to leave the house versus the everchanging news updates that never seemed to end. It is perhaps why, throughout the drive to the Airport, everything did feel like it was back to the way it once was. With cars back on the roads, dog-walkers and runners back on the streets, and no masks in sight, it became easy to imagine that Coronavirus was maybe something that only existed over in China, half a world away. Was something that had never even touched our daily lives here. During lockdown, it became easy to forget that life does continue to move on, even when we don’t, and with the first chill of Autumn in the air, it was even easier to lose myself in the normalcy that I had craved since those last few weeks of March. Looking back, I wish I had savoured those moments more than I had tried to. Real life I find, becomes a never-ending rush of routine that, even when we try to appreciate every second, time always finds a way to rip it from our grasp. 

 

   However, after arriving at the Airport itself, it quickly became clear that perhaps life had not reverted back to the normalcy we once had. If you have ever been to Edinburgh Airport in the middle of the day before you will know how busy it can be. Just last year during a trip to Spain I vividly remember the anarchy that summer brings. It was almost impossible to navigate the place with a suitcase, never-mind find our nominated Gate. With people rushing two and fro for security and check in, and couples and families hugging Hello and Goodbye, it was a rush that was always welcomed. A chaos of excitement and stress that always got me fully in the mood of the holiday spirit, no matter how early it might be. And yet, at our 2pm arrival in the terminal, this rush was just… gone. There was no chaos, or noise in general for that matter. Instead, it had been replaced with a profound silence. An emptiness that only exists within a place lacking the sound and happiness it once had. It was uncomfortable, unnerving. The few people that did appear, kitted out in the airport fashion of leggings and hoodies like we were, seemed to feel it too. It was truly unsettling walking past check-in after check-in and seeing it empty, devoid of the customers and employees I could almost imagine mirages of from last year. Even after dribbling through security, everything was just monotonous. The staff we did see, dotted around the airport like a spilled bag of skittles, seemed quiet and worn out. Overall, like the world outside, the Airport too appeared to be at a standstill. I think this was my first true realisation that the world, in fact, might not be the same. After been cooped up and coddled away from reality for four months it became easy to forget and distance myself from the reality that a Pandemic has to offer. Suddenly, the virus, the closures, and the pain was real, and it was staring me right in the face. 

   For one thing, you truly do not realise what you have until it is gone. I used to think the endless queuing for security and the baggage checks was bad enough, but now, with all the extra measures, it is another story. Despite this, I do think the Airport had done well in terms of the extra measures introduced. There were arrows literally everywhere indicating where to go, with hand sanitiser machines almost around every corner. And, with masks mandatory, it was easy to feel safe. Even sitting up in the waiting area, with all the shops closed, people kept their masks on. It seemed we were all on our best behaviour, following the rules to a T lest we all ruin perhaps our only chance of a holiday this year. It is what kept us all maintaining the mandatory 2-meter distance as we waited in line, and then filed through, one-by-one, onto the plane. 

 

   Nevertheless, with a five-month preparation time before the reopening in August, I do think there are aspects where our government could have done better. Despite the rigorous forms required for our trip to Greece later in August, these forms were completely absent during our flight to Prague. We had never even heard that these tracing forms had become a requirement, even after my extensive research into travel insurance policies and preparation for our trip. It was confusing to be asked to fill in one only after my passport had failed to get through the electronic scanning gates. For the people who did pass through the gate with no problem, I wonder about the risks involved when it comes to not tracing them. The consequences of it. Perhaps our Government, and country, was not ready to reopen back at the beginning of August; especially into countries who had taken no heed of a global Pandemic, even if they did have very low infection rates. I hate to wonder if maybe reasons like these is what has led to our second lockdown now. It is scary to think that this mismanagement is who we put our trust in to run the country from their seat in Westminster. Is who people continue to blindly support despite the failures of this year.

 

   Despite all the horror stories that were being passed around about the prospect of flying during a pandemic and the risks involved, it was something that, at first, I had no qualms about. I am a researcher at heart and after reading multiple articles and facts on how, by filtering the air throughout the plane every 20 minutes, it makes it difficult for contact viruses, such as COVID-19, to easily spread; I initially had no worries about air-travel. Yet, after getting individually shuffled onto the plane and sat down next to stranger after stranger, knees almost touching, it became easy for the anxieties I never thought I had to begin bubbling to the surface. I felt trapped. Locked in with no way out. And, with Abigail seated so far in front of me that I had long lost sight of what row she was in, I soon became honestly scared. Even with the rigorous rules around masks, and not being allowed the freedom to get up for the toilet unless there was no queue, it did little to calm my anxiety throughout our 2-hour flight. Nevertheless, this is not something I would let put you off a trip during this Pandemic. Although it was not what I expected, planes are still one of the safest places during this pandemic, if not the safest. And, with an empty seat next to me on the flight back, it was a much more comfortable journey. In the end, it is our own anxieties surrounding the unventured ground that this pandemic has provided that results in the overthinking and panic that occurred during our first lockdown back in March. As long as we are as safe as we can be and abide by the rules then we should, truly, have nothing to worry about.

 

   After arriving in Prague and making our way into the city-centre fully masked on the plane, bus, and underground, we also expected to have the rest of the city following up with the prevention measures we had become so accustomed to over the previous four months. Despite being the heart of Europe, directly in the firing line of Covid-19, Prague shockingly lacked any of the prevention measures the rest of the world had invested in. It appeared the country was comfortably was getting on with its day to day as if nothing was wrong due to few cases that appeared to equal few measures of prevention. In our hotel alone, there was no hand sanitiser or masks to be seen, and none of it was a requirement despite us turning up prepared and kitted-out. The receptionist, despite being completely accommodating and lovely to deal with, appeared to have no clue about the devastation the rest of the world was facing. Even throughout our four-night stay in the hotel, our sheets were only cleaned twice. Not what you would expect in a world crippled by a contagious virus. Maybe we had stumbled into the haven that we had been dreaming of relentlessly for the past four months. A place in which a global virus was nothing but an afterthought.

 

   Like with our hotel, going into the city was much the same. The first day especially, we were extremely apprehensive about going into the centre. Although we were lucky, as by being only a 10-minute walk from Prague’s underground and a Tram stop, we easily had the ability to travel into the heart of the city without much effort; a factor that still failed to stop the achy pain of my feet every night. Yet, it was hard not to be spooked by the sudden crowd of people that were congregated around the Tram stop on our initial approach. Already unsure from our arrival at our hotel the night before, we thought we were prepared for every occasion required of travelling during a pandemic, but a lack of said Pandemic was not one of them. Being faced with easily fifty people darting up and down a busy street, mostly unmasked and clearly uncaring, the anxieties of the past few months became suffocating. Getting on a Tram was worse. With workers, tourists and bag-packers just jumping on, clustered together, it was clear that in Prague Covid-19 did not exist. Furthermore, with Abigail leaning forward towards me in our booth at Tram 22’s front, one of the quieter places we could find to sit, and whispering in a conspiratorial tone; “should we even be wearing masks?” I began to even doubt the subject myself. 

  

  Although I cannot speak for Prague now. With the advancement of the Pandemic throughout the past few months, I imagine that a lot more measures have been put in place within and around the city. Even so, the sheer lack of protection during our 4-night stay was unnerving to say the least. In cases like this, all we could do was be prepared to protect ourselves by continuing to wear our masks and make use of the ungodly amount of hand sanitiser we had deigned to bring with us.

 

   And yet, Pandemic forgotten, one thing I wasn’t prepared for was the absolute lack of tourists within the city centre. It was a different world. After being to cities like Barcelona in the past, I know full well how suffocating it can be trying to see a landmark and instead seeing only crowds upon crowds of people. It can break a holiday, ruin the experience of taking photos when you just can’t get that one annoying person out of the picture. So, it was truly surreal having famous landmarks, known widely across the world, almost to ourselves. Key city monuments, like the Astronomical Clock and the John Lennon Wall, were almost deserted, with the few tourists like us only snapping a few photos before moving on. Instead, the crowds filled the cafés and restaurants of the main square or milled about in the midday-sun on the Charles Bridge, enjoying the bliss of tourist-less life probably just as much as we were. It made a holiday that was already perfect just that bit more amazing. For four days we had little to worry about other than what we might eat for dinner that night.

 

   However, like all trips abroad, nothing is ever perfect. With the last-minute decision that resulted in our booking, we had little time to change money, instead opting to use my card for any costs until we had a chance to on our first day. Fool proof, right? No. After four trips around various banks and exchange places it became apparent that even countries other than England are discriminatory towards Scottish notes. So, if you ever decide to go travelling in general, make sure you’re prepared for all the key aspects of the trip. Don’t make the novice mistakes like I did, because, standing out in 25-degree heat trying to understand Czech is not the way to start a holiday.

 

   Overall, our trip to Prague was truly one of the highlights of my year, even if it was slightly unusual and extremely unplanned. It was a much-needed break from the constant updates that we continue to have even now in December. A fond memory that gives me hope for next summer during these dark times. Yet, it is hard not to wonder if the lack of control and measures throughout August is what resulted in our current second lockdown now. With the lack of track and trace at the beginning of the month, and Prague’s lack of measures in general, it would have been so easy for travellers to pass on Covid-19 throughout both countries whilst being none the wiser. And yet, it is easy to forget that this is new ground for everyone. It is unfair to blame our government for current restrictions now when we are perhaps all guilty of not following the rules completely. Even then, can we really say that we would do a better job?

 

   Yet, these factors are definitely not something you should let put you off travelling post-Coronavirus. I know that I definitely needed my break in August, and after this winter, you will too. As long as you check the rules, plan in advance, be responsible, and maintain the hygiene standards required of a Pandemic then, honestly, you have nothing to worry about. Other than that, enjoy your trip! Because I know I did. 

our last supper

C x

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My First Post, Coronavirus, and Self-Love During Unprecedented Times

In the words of Plato, strange times are these in which we live.      

Starting 2020, the last thing I could ever have expected is to be currently living through a global pandemic crisis with much of 2020, and my future, being put on hold. But 5 months in, here we are, fighting against an infectious disease that is effectively massacring thousands of people across the globe on a daily basis. 

And yet, despite the situation, I can’t help but be gutted. Like the many others I had seen declaring their despair at the situation on twitter and other types of social media, I had successfully convinced myself that 2020 was going to be my year. By booking various holidays, applying for an exchange with my University, and starting a diet after years of putting it off, I had finally begun to feel that I was getting my life on track to how I wanted it to be, with the start of a new decade being the perfect time for a clean slate. However, in the process of 3 months, this clean slate has suddenly been destroyed by COVID-19 and the lockdown measures that have been imposed on all of us.

It is a culture shock, really. In the wake of suddenly going from a busy day to day lifestyle to being stuck in the house with nothing to do, it is hard not to feel as if I am suffocating against it all. Being kept away from family and friends who I had become used to seeing nearly every day, and not even being able to take a simple trip to the supermarket without feeling like you are somehow in the wrong, is confusing and emotionally-draining, and frankly life has become a lot harder than I, and I am sure many others, ever expected it to. It’s like nothing is normal anymore and, personally, I find that scariest of all. Sometimes, I believe that our biggest enemy is our own mind, and our current situation leaves us trapped without any escape. Due to this, anything even related to self-love and self-care seems completely absurd at the moment. Why bother with our-selves when no one is going to see us anyway? Yet, that is exactly why self-love is so essential right now! During a time when we perhaps feel lazy and that many things are not worth it, it is important to remind ourselves that we are worth it! Even when we feel that we are not.

My current read is The Binding by Bridget Collins. Highly recommend for any fantasy lovers like me.

And so, despite it all, I do not believe that this year is beyond saving. After having two months off to myself, it has given me a lot of time to not only reflect on how I want to move forward with my time after the outbreak of Coronavirus has been contained, but also spend time doing things that I never had time for in the past, due to trying to balance a university course with a part-time job and a social life. By studying a degree in English and Journalism, I often-times find myself having to read books that I, in a sense, do not particularly enjoy and over time I had begun to associate my dread towards these books with a dread of reading all together. However, sometimes we just need time to fall back in love with the things we had fallen out of love with, and that is something I am grateful to lockdown for providing. By spending my days reading and also drawing, something I had not had time to do since I completed my Higher Art qualification, I have been slowly falling back in love with the hobbies I had forgotten were never a chore. It is reminding me to love myself and that not everything in life needs to be done to complete some end goal. Instead of stressing about deadlines, work, and the realities of life I can instead lose myself for however long I need in a novel or art. It is something I feel that everyone should be doing, as the toxicity that comes with mobile phones and social media has never been healthy for any of us and in reality, for a long time coming, we have all been in need of some sort of break.

So, instead of focusing on what could have been, we should focus on what can still be and the plans we can still make, despite the fact they will be in the future rather than in the present. In the end, the cities and countries we wish to visit will still exist after this outbreak has passed, but, if we do not follow the lockdown guidelines and protect ourselves during these unprecedented times, we might not exist to visit them. Right now, self-love and self-care is the most important thing of all! As no matter however bad things might seem right now, we have got this far, we can survive the rest. 

C x

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